Frustration, Cheer, and Poor George Boleyn

The thing that drives me quite mad about writing, is when I’m deeply into describing something, and the words are coming out so smoothly that I’m quite impressing myself, and then…I stub my toe up against a word that I can’t quite remember.  I know that it’s the perfect word, and what it means, and that it begins with an ‘e’ and there’s one or possibly more ‘m’s and ‘n’s in it, but I can’t think of the word itself.  And my laptop’s spell-check is no help, because I can’t get it spelled close enough for it to suggest helpful things.  The laptop is baffled.  I’m baffled.  And I’m thrown out of my lovely perfect nest of words, because everytime I try to skip that word and go on (knowing it will come to me later – probably late at night, when I’m in bed and the lights are out), my mind keeps jigging back to that missing word.  It’s hard being creative when the largest part of the othermind is mumbling “…eum…emi…enu…emu…”  and trying to come up with the perfect synonym, so that when I look that word up in my thesaurus, it will spit out the word I actually want.  Every word I try that doesn’t succeed, only makes me more annoyed, but I’m too stubborn to just rewrite the passage using one of these synonyms I’ve thought of.  Curse it, that ‘e’ word is perfect – I can’t settle for something mundane like ‘fleeting’.

I finally give up attempting to write altogether, and watch an episode of “The Tudors”.  Poor George Boleyn gets his head chopped off, and it’s very sad.  His father’s still in prison, and I’m hoping he survives, because he’s such a wicked, scheming plotter, and I love him.  I can’t remember, historically, if he lives, and that’s bothering me.

And that’s when it hits me.  Ephemeral.  That’s the word I wanted.  Suddenly I’m a whole lot cheerier about poor George.

And while I’m cheery, let me share a song with you I just discovered, by a singer I’ve never heard of:

Lenka’s “Don’t Let Me Fall”

Underneath the moon
underneath the stars
here’s a little heart for you
Up above the world
Up above it all
Here’s a hand to hold on to

But if i should break
if i should fall away
What am i to do
I need someone to take
A little of the weight
Or i’ll fall through…

You’re just the one that i’ve been waiting for
I’ll give you all that i have to give a more
But don’t let me fall…

Take a little time
Walk a little line
get the balance right on
Give a little love
Gimme just enough
So that i can hang on tight

We will be alright
I’ll be by your side
I won’t let you down
But i gotta know
no matter how things go
That you will be around..

…You’ll be the one that i’ll love for ever more
I’ll be here holding you high above it all
But don’t let me fall.

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